whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize
