i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
