just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
