Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
