just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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