I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
