Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
