Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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