Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
