He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
