a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
