I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
