Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
