I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize