I wannas sexs uuuuu
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
