So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
