i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize