yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
