so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
