I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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