I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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