I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
