Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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