OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
