I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
