i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
