but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
