So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
