check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
