I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
