I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
