I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
