I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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