She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
