high people should be assigned attendants
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
