I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
