my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize