guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
