im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
