She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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