Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
