I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
