I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
