well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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