i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
