'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
