Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Randomize