The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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