Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
