I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
