I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
