Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
