do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
This is my gift to your gina
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
