It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
it glows. i had to have it.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
