new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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