I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
