Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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