im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize