I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
