How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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