i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
